


Seeking Solace

by Shadow15



Category: Another - Ayatsuji Yukito
Genre: Depression, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:15:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26096212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadow15/pseuds/Shadow15
Summary: Teshigawara is depressed after the Calamity, leaving Mochizuki to try and take care of him.
Relationships: Teshigawara Naoya & Mochizuki Yuuya
Comments: 4
Kudos: 3





	1. Chapter 1

Two weeks had passed since the Calamity had ended, two weeks since twenty-two people had died in the cruellest of manners, and two weeks since Yuuya Mochizuki and Naoya Teshigawara had gotten out of the hospital due to the injuries that they had received.

Currently, the two boys were sitting in Teshigawara's bedroom, nothing but silence between them. Teshigawara was still mourning the death of his childhood best friend and there was really nothing Mochizuki could say to make him feel better; the fact that nearly all of the students had tried to kill each other in fear was something no amount of words or actions could wash away.

"At least Kazami didn't have to survive remembering everything," Mochizuki offered after ten minutes of silence. He reached out and placed his hand on his friend's shoulder, his gentle features forming a smile. "I think that's something to be grateful for."

Teshigawara shook his head, pulling away from the hand. He rubbed at his eyes, trying to convey his thoughts. "...He was killing the other students mercilessly, all because the calamity had taken over everyone's minds..."

Mochizuki was quiet, knowing his best friend was right; things would never be the same between any of the members of Class Three again. Not now that the majority of the students, some of their family and even their teacher had been taken by the Calamity.

"...I heard Sakakibara and Misaki were having lunch today," Mochizuki offered, trying to bring Teshigawara out of his depression. "We should join them."

Teshigawara just shrugged, unable to find the motivation to leave his room. "...I don't care..."

Mochizuki sighed. He knew he shouldn't let Teshigawara sit here and be miserable lest things become worse so, gathering up his courage, he smiled as reassuringly as he could and stood up. "If we hurry, we can catch them. Let's go."

Teshigawara didn't reply. He gave no hint of having even heard Mochizuki; he just continued staring down at his lap, his eyes distant.

Mochizuki did his best to not let this deter him. He reached down and gently grabbed his friend’s shoulder in what he could only hope was a comforting manner. He helped Teshigawara to his feet, leading him out of the room. As expected, Teshigawara was quiet, his eyes unseeing as he continued to stare at the ground.

They walked through the streets together, Mochizuki keeping an eye on his friend, and Teshigawara as silent as ever. Mochizuki’s thoughts were focused solely on the guilt he felt about bringing the tape along on the school trip; he knew that if he hadn't just left it sitting in plain view, Takako Suguira would never have taken it, would never have played it over the loud-speakers – would never have caused such fear and confusion. He could only imagine the guilt Teshigawara felt, having originally believed he had killed his own best friend.

Teshigawara was also lost in thoughts, replaying the moment Kazami fell off the balcony over and over again in his mind. He shuddered, remembering the feelings of panic and despair as if that moment was happening all over again. He didn't notice Mochizuki's hand reaching out to pat his shoulder; he was lost in memories he wished he could just  _ forget. _

It didn't take them long to get to the cafe Mochizuki had overheard their friends, Kouichi Sakakibara and Mei Misaki, talking about going to.

When they walked in, they were just in time to find the two aforementioned students at the counter, ordering their meals. Mochizuki smiled and moved forward, calling out to them.

"Sakakibara, Misaki," he greeted, pulling Teshigawara along with him.

Sakakibara and Misaki both turned and smiled at them, having heard about Teshigawara's depression.

"Mochizuki-kun, Teshigawara-kun." Sakakibara returned his friend’s smile as he looked at Teshigawara in concern. He was worried, knowing that he hadn't been coming to school and Mochizuki had been staying with him. "I haven't seen you two in a while."

Teshigawara kept his gaze on the ground, almost as if he hadn't even heard these words. Mochizuki answered for him, his patient and caring nature shining through.

"We've been alright," Mochizuki tried to convince, but he wasn’t sure if he even believed his own words. "We've mostly stayed at Teshigawara's home, but we have gone to mine on occasion to watch some movies."

Misaki was quietly listening to the conversation as she handed money over to the cashier. She wondered whether or not it would be a good idea to bring up school in front of Teshigawara, seeing as that had been what sparked his depression in the first place.

"Do you want to join us for lunch?" Sakakibara offered, trying to keep Teshigawara's condition in mind; it wouldn't do to abandon him after he and Mochizuki had been the only other two to stand up for them and treat them normally, despite the mass hysteria surrounding Class Three.

"That would be good." Mochizuki nodded, pulling his friend up to the counter to make their own orders. "What do you want, Teshigawara?"

Teshigawara shrugged and looked away, unsurprising at this point in their lives. Mochizuki just patted his shoulder calmly, knowing the other well enough to know what he would want.

"Two bowls of Teriyaki Chicken, please." Mochizuki handed over the money to the woman serving them before he led the blond over to a private area of the cafe with their friends, waiting for the waitress to bring their food to them.

Mochizuki's stomach couldn't help but drop in concern when, fifteen minutes later, their food was brought over to them and Teshigawara didn't even so much as  _ look  _ at the bowl. Would his friend ever be the same again?


	2. Chapter 2

By the time Teshigawara’s parents had booked an appointment with the school counsellor for their son, Mochizuki feared it was too late for anything to be done; the trauma Teshigawara had experienced was no longer just depressive symptoms; it had escalated into anxiety, severe nightmares and a phobia of blood to the point where he couldn’t even see the bodily fluid on TV without breaking into a panic attack.

Mochizuki, as always, stayed by his friend’s side, even through the counselling sessions. His hand held the usually-shaking one as he gently coaxed Teshigawara to speak, hoping that, by some miracle, his friend’s mouth would open and start spilling every little thing he was thinking. 

“Teshigawara, would you like for me to explain the beginning?” Mochizuki offered with a gentle smile that felt forced even for him. “Then you can just talk about how you’re feeling. Okay?”

Teshigawara made no acknowledgement of the other’s words and only continued staring at his feet, his eyes seemingly faraway as his lips twitched in what Mochizuki feared would soon become a permanent frown.

Mochizuki’s eyes slipped closed, heartbroken to see the once-happy-go-lucky fool now unable to even allow the smallest of smiles grace his face.

“...It started when his friend passed away...” Mochizuki explained to their school counsellor, a dark-haired woman named Kikuko Momotani. “It was... on the school trip to Yomiyama Shrine... Kazami was one of the ones who went insane... Who was killing the other students... We don’t know what happened, but... apparently he was killed himself...”

Momotani nodded as she wrote in her notebook, her features soft and sympathetic. “Teshigawara-kun was also injured, wasn’t he?”

“Yes... He received a gash in his leg from a knife...”

The woman wrote something down again before she lifted her head to smile gently at the two boys in her office. “Teshigawara-kun, may I ask you a question?” 

Teshigawara shrugged. Mochizuki couldn’t help but feel a tinge of relief, because no matter what the situation was, it had been the most response his friend had shown in so long. 

Momotani continued. “What was it about your friend’s passing that hurt the most?”

Teshigawara’s silence didn’t change for the longest of moments, leading the other two to believe he still refused to speak. Momotani and Mochizuki both had been about to give up on a vocal response when his mouth finally opened, his voice shaky and quiet and rather hoarse from disuse, but still comprehensible. 

“...He was killing the others...” Teshigawara’s eyes filled with tears, but he didn’t let them fall. “...He wasn’t... the Kazami I grew up with... And now that he’s dead... I’ll never be able to understand  _ why  _ he was doing what he did...” 

The first tear slipped down Teshigawara’s pale cheek, unable to be held in any longer. For the first time in  _ years,  _ Mochizuki witnessed his best friend crying. He wrapped his arms around the other’s shoulders and pulled him close, not knowing how he could help. He followed his instinct, knowing that he couldn’t just leave Teshigawara like this.

“It’s okay,” Mochizuki murmured, his voice calm and soothing. He raised a hand and brushed away blond hair from Teshigawara’s eyes, smiling reassuringly. “We’ll always have each other, and I’m sure Kazami is in a better place now. It will be alright.”

Teshigawara moved to bury his face in his friend’s purple shirt, his hand coming to clasp tightly to the soft fabric. His body shook from the overwhelming force of his emotions, his breath coming in strained gasps that were surely painful, Mochizuki couldn’t help but think.

Mochizuki just looked helplessly at the counsellor, his eyes full of pleading, begging the woman to do something to help his friend. 

“Teshigawara-kun...” Momotani got off her chair and moved toward the two boys, putting a small hand on her patient’s shoulder. She made no move to separate the two boys, knowing that they both needed the support their embrace gave them. “...Teshigawara-kun, would you like to go home? You can come back another time. You don’t have to stay here.”

Teshigawara nodded, raising a red, tear-stained face. He looked so lost, his eyes unfocused, his teeth biting down on his bottom lip so hard, Mochizui thought he could see blood.

Mochizuki helped his friend to his feet and stood beside him, one arm wrapped around the other’s shoulders. He bowed respectfully to the woman who had taken time out of her day to talk to them, thanking her for listening.

“I’ll take him home and let him get some rest,” Mochizuki said softly. “Come on, Teshigawara.”

Teshigawara’s broken sobs followed the two boys out of the counselling room, his sounds full of heartbreak and despair. The longer Mochizuki heard them, the more hope he lost in his friend’s recovery; he could never have even  _ dreamed  _ his friend – so happy to a fault – would ever be so depressed.

**_~~Mochizuki household~~_ **

Mochizuki couldn’t say he was surprised when Teshigawara refused to go back home, instead wanting to go to the well-known comfort of Mochizuki’s home. He didn’t say anything apart from vocalising his agreement, changing their route to the one that would get them back to his house. 

“Yuuya, you’re home.” 

The two teens looked up at Mochizuki’s mother’s voice. They found her standing in the doorway to the kitchen, smiling softly, her long brown hair tied in a bun and a white apron covering her front. 

“Yes, kaa-san.” Mochizuki smiled back before he gestured to his friend. “I brought Teshigawara with me. Are you making lunch?”

“Yes; dango. Shall I bring some up for you both?”

“Please.” 

Teshigawara remained staring at the floor as he slipped off his last shoe, placing it carefully on the shoe rack and then putting his slippers on. Mochizuki’s mother was a nice lady, but he didn’t want to be bothered by her insistence of cleanliness today; he just wanted to sit in his friend’s room and drown in the familiarity of it all. 

Mochizuki was silent as he led Teshigarara down the hallway and to his bedroom. He spared a concerned glance to his friend as he opened the door to his room before he stepped back to allow the other entrance. 

Teshigawara had barely stepped into the bedroom before he was whispering in a manner that sounded agonised. “Doesn’t this all frighten you...?”

Mochizuki blinked at his friend’s question, unable to understand what was being asked of him. “Excuse me?”

“...This...” Teshigawara raised a hand and gestured at the space around them both. “...The... The way you’re trapped in this tiny space... There’s not much room to move around in... It makes me want to scream... It’s suffocating me... Mochizuki... It’s...”

Mochizuki gasped when the other let out a piercing shriek. He didn’t know what to do, what to say, or even how to make his best friend stop clawing at his own skin.

“Teshigawara!” Mochizuki cried out when crimson droplets fell to the wooden floor beneath them, accompanied by rivers of tears that fell from Teshigawara’s eyes. “Teshigawara, please! Stop!”

Teshigawara whimpered and pulled away when hands reached out for him, unable to focus on anything but the woman wielding a butcher’s knife in front of him, the fire making escape difficult, the pain in his leg from where the knife had gashed him – Mochizuki’s hands on his body, dragging him away from the crazed woman.

There was a very recognisable voice that seemed to be coming from everywhere – no,  _ two  _ voices – playing out the fight Teshigawara had with Kazami before said boy fell off the balcony. It took him several minutes to realise that it was  _ his  _ voice he was hearing, along with Kazami’s. He was drowning in it, choking, unable to get away from the horrible mistake he had made. He relived the panic he had felt when he saw the blood coming from Kazami’s head, the horror at believing he had killed his friend, the desperate need to hear that  _ Kazami was not remembered  _ – the overwhelming grief at Sakakibara and Misaki’s words, “ _ Of course I know him”. _

Mochizuki looked helplessly behind him at hearing his mother’s footsteps. He whimpered a few pleads for help at her, unable to handle the sight of his best friend clawing the skin from his own face and ripping handfuls of hair from his scalp. 

“K-kaa-san...” Mochizuki couldn’t even recognise his own voice – it sounded so weak, so  _ pathetic.  _ Why was this happening to them? Why did they have to be involved in the Calamity? Why couldn’t they have been placed in any other class?  _ Why?! Why did it have to be  _ them?! What had they  _ done  _ to deserve this suffering? This pain? This  _ fear  _ that they could die any day – that the Calamity may still claim their lives within the coming years.

“Teshigawara-kun...” Mochizuki’s mother knelt next to Teshigawara, knowing better than to reach out and touch him. Her voice was soft and gentle, doing her best to let her kind personality sink into every fibre of her being, knowing that the teen needed it. “...Teshigawara-kun, please, look at me. Please. Look at me, Teshigawara-kun.”

Teshigawara’s eyes slowly cracked open from where he hadn’t even realised he’d been squeezing them tightly shut. The well-known voice of Mochizuki’s mother had been enough to drag him from the haze, but he still couldn’t stop the tears from slipping past his eyelashes. He couldn’t focus on the soft sobs Mochizuki was also emitting, too exhausted from his ordeal to be able to completely acknowledge his surroundings. 

“Riku-san...” Teshigawara’s voice was heavy with tears, strained under all of the pressure he was suffering. He moved closer, eventually burying his face into the woman’s chest. His arms wrapped around her as he released his pain into her chest.

“Teshigawara-kun...” Riku’s hand stroked through dirty blond hair as a soft hum escaped her lips. It was the same lullaby she used to hum to her own son when he was upset or scared. “...Teshigawara-kun, would you like for me to drive you home?”

“Kaa-san, he doesn’t want to go home,” Mochizuki explained, knowing that his friend didn’t want to be alone. “He wanted to stay with me.”

“Do his parents know he’s here or do I need to give them a call?” Riku held the boy tighter, the child being almost like her second son; he and Yuuya were close enough, after all.

“They know,” Mochizuki said. “Teshigawara had already told them he wanted to be alone after they dropped us off at the school. They understood.”

Riku nodded, not relinquishing her hold until Teshigawara had cried himself to sleep in her arms. Very carefully, she lifted him up and carried him further into her son’s room. 

Mochizuki instinctively pulled back the covers to his bed, his caring nature taking full effect. He waited until his mother had tucked his friend in under the purple sheets and then sat beside Teshigawara, not wanting to leave his side. 

Throughout the whimpers, the cries, the  _ screams _ , Mochizuki stayed, unable to abandon the other in his time of need.

“Please, be alright...” Mochizuki whispered as he brushed blond strands out of the taller male’s eyes. A single tear slipped down his cheek, finding this harder and harder to deal with – but, no matter what, he vowed to never abandon his precious friend. 


	3. Chapter 3

Teshigawara had gone to sleep straight after dinner. Mochizuki didn’t mind lending the other his own bed, choosing to sleep instead on the spare futon by it. He walked into his room around nine, getting ready for sleep himself now that he was feeling the familiar pull of fatigue. He glanced at his friend as he changed his clothes, smiling softly to find Teshigawara sleeping peacefully for once. 

“I wish you were like this more often.” Mochizuki sighed to himself before he moved over to his bed, reaching out to run his hand through blond hair. “I hate seeing you like this. It hurts.”

Teshigawara, as expected, didn’t reply; he only snuggled in closer to the pillow, the small smile on his face widening as his comfort increased. 

Mochizuki smiled back, calmed by the other’s demeanour; ever since the Calamity, he had not seen Teshigawara so relaxed. Before all of this had happened, it was rare to see his friend so much as frown, his happy personality leaving no room for depression. But now, he was nothing  _ but  _ depressed – unless traumatised also counted. 

Mochizuki could only hope that, one day, the Teshigawara he knew so well would one day return to him. Until then, there was nothing he could do other than look after him.

**_~~Some hours later~~_ **

If there was one thing Mochizuki never wanted to do again in his life, it was to return to Yomiyama Shrine. However, tonight had paid no heed to wishes and instead forced him back to where their abrupt personality changes had occurred. 

Walking through the corridors, it was dark and lonely, not a sound to be heard. Mochizuki was calling out for the students he knew had also accompanied him on the three-day school trip, but there was no one else around.

He was uncomfortable, a horrible feeling of dread suffocating his very existence. He felt as if something bad was about to happen, unable to understand why he was suddenly walking down this never-ending corridor. Where was he? Why was he alone? Why did this place have the aura of evil?

“Where is everyone...?” Mochizuki bit his lip, wanting to go home. He didn’t want to be in this creepy area, drowning in ever-increasing anxiety. He didn’t know why he felt so afraid; all he knew was that something was not right. 

At the sound of a door creaking open behind him, Mochizuki turned, his grey eyes shining with desperate hope; was someone else here with him? He could only hope; there was nothing more frightening to him than the prospect of having to stay here, alone in a corridor that reeked of what he could only describe as the promise of impending death.

“Takabayashi!” Mochizuki’s lips curled into a smile as he ran towards his friend, unaware of the fact that this boy had died right before his eyes; all he could think about was the relief of having someone to accompany him through this nightmare.

But instead of returning the relief and joy, Takabayashi’s eyes narrowed into a glare, and his hand came to grip the middle of his chest as if his heart was giving out on him. His voice was harsh and gravelly as he spoke, saturated with loathing. 

“Why did  _ you  _ survive?” Ikuo Takabayashi took a step forward, his very presence conveying an evil Mochizuki couldn’t comprehend.

Mochizuki no longer wanted to stick around. He whimpered and turned, running out of the room he had entered just moments before. He didn’t get very far before water instantly pooled around his ankles, filling the corridor within the blink of an eye. The water continued to rise until he was knee-deep in it, the crystal clear liquid turning red as a mangled arm floated to the surface. 

A head soon followed, cut up and battered in a grotesque manner. Lifeless eyes stared at him, the distorted and bloody body of Junta Nakao tore to pieces, resembling so very much the way his body was ripped to shreds, just like when the propeller of the boat had hit him before his very eyes, the same horror he had felt then re-emerging once more.

Running again past the corpse that had haunted his very nightmares for days after it had been killed, the water disappeared, replaced instead by blazing fire, its heat causing a panic Mochizuki had never felt before.

Blinded by the flames and tears, Mochizuki ran, his heart pounding, traumatised screams following in his wake. Finally arriving at the corner of the corridor that had seemed forever away, the boy took the turn, his only thought getting away. However, his fleeing was cut short when he tripped over a body lying in the middle of the corridor, covered in blood, eyes wide and staring in frozen fear.

A scream ripped from Mochizuki’s throat, louder than he had ever screamed before. He fell to his knees, his hands grabbing the body’s shoulders, shaking violently. Tears dripped from his eyes, mingling with the blood, as just one realisation ran through his mind;  _ I am alone... _

“T...  _ Teshigawara!”  _ Mochizuki’s voice had never been as strangled as it was right now, more terrified than he had ever been before – and when he caught sight of the butcher’s knife sticking out of the blond corpse’s chest, everything stopped.

**_~~Mochizuki~~_ **

Mochizuki awoke with a scream, jumping off his futon as he got to his feet. His forehead was sweaty as tears ran down his cheeks, his body shaking as the nightmare he had experienced play over and over again in his mind.

The boy’s bedroom door was thrown open and his light switched on as his family’s worried voices asked what was wrong. He struggled to contain himself, unaware of the fact that he was standing in the middle of his bedroom, whimpering as if his puppy had been murdered in front of him.

“Yuuya, what happened?”

Mochizuki fell into the warm arms that wrapped around him, his sister’s comforting presence taking away the fear he had felt. He cried into the woman’s chest, gripping her clothing tightly. Taking a glance towards his bed, he was heartbroken to see his best friend sitting upright, staring at them blankly as if he were trapped in his own memories.

“Yuuya, it’s alright. It’s alright.” 

“N-nee-san..” Mochizuki shivered as he became overwhelmed by his own pain. He wanted so badly to go to Teshigawara, but he was paralysed by his fear.  _ Help me... Someone, please... Help me... _

Teshigawara blinked once before he shook his head, his eyes reflecting suffering. Without a word, he lay back down on the bed, pulling the blankets over his head. The blankets shook as he cried, and he didn’t interact again with anyone that night.

Mochizuki had to leave his bedroom, unable to stay there any longer. His sister allowed him to sleep in her room, knowing that her brother needed comfort he couldn’t get from just anyone. 

It took Mochizuki a long time, but he eventually drifted off into sleep, comforted by Tomoka’s rhythmic breathing. His nightmares were terrifying, but he didn’t awake again.


	4. Chapter 4

It wasn’t unusual for the Mochizuki household to be woken up by screams. Tomoka sat upright, her hands instinctively reaching to pull her brother against her. She rocked him back and forth, understanding his need to grip her night shirt and cry. 

“Yuuya, it’s alright,” Tomoka whispered, knowing that the boy had suffered a great ordeal. She held him tighter to her body, wishing she could do more; nothing she did for him seemed to make any difference to his trauma. “It’s alright.”

“N-nee-san...” Mochizuki’s slender fingers curled into the white fabric of his sister’s clothing, his tears creating wet patches on the girl’s shirt. His body trembled, unable to rid himself of the visions he had endured. 

The bedroom door opened and their mother walked into the room, in that moment looking so much older than her forty years. She sat on the bed beside her children and reached out, running a hand through her son’s hair, humming a soft tune. 

Mochizuki trembled as he shook his head, pushing further into his older sibling. He choked on his sobs, the pictures that had been painted red playing through his mind like a movie on repeat.

Riku pulled her son onto her lap, planting a kiss on his forehead. She fought back the tears that threatened to spill from her eyes, a deep pain reflected in her grey orbs. The fact that she had been unable to protect her son hurt more than any physical pain ever could.

Mochizuki, however, was unable to push past the memories, remembering over and over again everything he had seen during the Calamity’s occurrence. Before the trip to Yomiyama Shrine, his trauma had only just been setting in – but everything that had happened during the climax of their trip was what had tipped him over the edge. 

Trying to care for Teshigawara as well was no help at all; the suffering Teshigawara was experiencing only made Mochizuki’s own worse; trying to fix someone else’s problems when he couldn’t even face his own was an impossible endeavour. Already today felt harder than ever. He didn’t want to get up and face his friends, his family – he didn’t even want to see himself, knowing that he could see only the reflection of a weak, defeated boy who was merely a shadow of his former self.

“K-kaa-san...!” Mochizuki all but screamed for his mother, his overwhelming agony swallowing him like a black hole. He didn’t know what to do – what  _ could  _ he do? His head felt like it was about to explode; his mind was overrun with thoughts of death, his own and his friends who had been taken; he just wanted to  _ die.  _

Riku and Tomoka stayed with the boy for the rest of the morning, biting down their pain in order to try and help the youngest, but Mochizuki had done nothing but cry himself back to sleep. They left him in Tomoka’s bed, hoping that the more rest he got, the easier the day would be for him.

Riku next went to check on Teshigawara, pleased to find that he was still fast asleep himself. She moved over to the bed and stroked his cheek, not knowing what to do. It was true that Teshigawara was not her child, but he was her son’s best friend and, right now, they were both in desperate need of as much love and support as they could get.

Teshigawara didn’t even so much as stir, his seemingly-peaceful sleep uninterrupted by the woman’s presence. He remained still as the blankets were moved to sit higher on his body, almost as if he couldn’t feel it.

Riku just brushed her thumb against the teenager’s cheek again before she turned and left, ready to do her morning chores. She knew, in the back of her mind, no matter how much attention she put into her duties, she would still worry about the two boys in the bedrooms, the worry that they may never be normal kids again eating at her.

**_~~Two days later~~_ **

“Mochizuki-kun, what happened to your hand?” 

The addressed teenager looked up at his teacher, his head having been down as he stared at the floor. He struggled to hold back tears at this question, the reality of what having happened hitting him hard.

“...I... fell...” Mochizui lied, his voice barely audible. He moved silently to his seat, hoping for no further questions to be directed at him.

Tatsuji Chibiki shook his head, his glasses slipping ever so slightly down his nose at the action. He brushed grey strands of hair out of his face, looking weary. 

“I do not believe that, Mochizuki-kun.” Chibiki reached out and grabbed the hand in his, the white bandage brushing against his flesh. “Tell me the truth.”

_ He probably already knows...  _ Mochizuki dropped his eyes to the ground, a pained expression filling them.  _...Kaa-san was adamant the school know about my stress levels... It’s only natural Chibiki-sensei – taking the place of Kubodera-sensei – know about it, too.  _

“...I punched the wall...” Tears welled up in Mochizuki’s grey eyes. He tried to blink them away, but the tears only duplicated at the action. “...I... I got so angry...”

“Is this why Teshigawara-kun is absent?” Chibiki dropped his voice, knowing that the other students who were slowly filing into the room were listening to the conversation. 

“...He’s with his parents... I... I didn’t mean to... I just... I got angry... I don’t even know  _ why  _ I did... I just... did...”

Chibiki understood. He understood perfectly. With a nod of his head, he dismissed the boy to his seat, the slip of paper he had been handed about Mochizuki’s condition fresh in his mind. He acknowledged that the trauma of what had happened had affected more than just Mochizuki and Teshigawara; he knew some of the other students were carrying their own scars, some more pronounced than others – or the few who had survived the Calamity, anyway.

“Mochizuki?” 

Mochizuki turned in his seat to look at the desk behind him. He rubbed his eyes, glancing at Sakakibara, not knowing what to say to the brunet. Sakakibara appeared worried, his eyebrows creased in a frown.

“Yes...?” Mochizuki hated that his voice was so weak, so shaky. He wanted to be strong and cheerful like he used to be – not scared and angry. 

“How is Teshigawara?” Sakakibara asked. He reached out to put a hand on his friend’s shoulder, but he pulled away when Mochizuki winced and recoiled. “I’m sorry, Mochizuki. How are  _ you?” _

Mochizuki closed his eyes as his shoulders began to shake, the effort of holding back his tears taking its toll on him. He didn’t want to be seen this way – he didn’t want to make others worry. So why was it so hard to pretend everything was fine? 

“...He’s...” Mochizuki licked his lips, willing his voice to stay steady, “...he’s with... his parents... They’re... taking him to a psychologist.”

Sakakibara wasn’t stupid; he knew his friend was avoiding the topic of himself on purpose. However, his nosy nature wouldn’t allow him to remain wondering. “Have  _ you _ been to see anyone yet?” 

With a shrug of his shoulders, Mochizuki removed himself from Sakakibara’s presence and instead sat down at his table, trying to focus on not thinking about anything other than the man who had volunteered to take over their class for the remainder of the year. 

Mochizuki hadn’t had much time to think about his own emotions before the bell rang, signifying the beginning of class. He had even less time to think too much on how he was going to get through the day without Teshigawara by his side before Chibiki announced they were going to watch a movie. 

_ Good...  _ Mochizuki sighed mentally, feeling as if he had been snatched out of the mouth of the crocodile.  _ I can just relax and do things at my own pace... No time limit and no talking... Just time out... _

As Mochizuki had acknowledged, the movie had lessened his stress, the chance to lose himself in fantasy taking the edge away from his pain. All was fine and he felt like the day would be bearable, but then it happened.

Mochizuki had been scribbling senselessly on paper, a smile beginning to form on his face at the peace, but that was when he heard  _ it.  _ The unmistakable sound of a raging fire.

Mochizuki froze, his eyes widening as his jaw tightened. He dropped the pencil he had been holding, his trembling hands unable to hold its weight. Tears welled up in his eyes as a loud whimper filled the room. He wouldn’t realise it until Sakakibara told him later, but it had been  _ him  _ making that noise, a strangled plead for Teshigawara, someone  _ – anyone  _ – to help him.

“Mochizuki?”

Mochizuki didn’t hear his friend calling his name, but when he felt a soft hand grab his shoulder, he screamed and flung himself backwards off his chair, falling onto the hard floor beneath him. His heart raced as his panting quickened to the point of hyperventilation. 

The students muttered and gathered around, concerned looks on their faces as Sakakibara continuously called out to their classmate. 

“Give him some room!” Chibiki instructed as he dispersed the gathering crowd. He knelt beside Sakakibara, reaching out to grab the arms that were now flailing around in a panic. “Mochizuki-kun, calm down!”

Mochizuki’s scream was ear-shattering, his eyes wide as he tried to pull away from the hands grabbing at him. He felt like he was going to faint and his skin was clammy, his body trembling as if he were having a seizure.

Chibiki pushed through the display of terror and grabbed the frightened teen, pulling him into his arms. He stood up, throwing instructions to the other students to remain in the classroom as he left. Chibiki closed the door behind him before he hurried over to the small bench tucked away in a corner. He sat Mochizuki on the bench, his hands on frail shoulders as he tried to steady his student.

“Mochizuki-kun?” Chibiki called several times before Mochizuki’s eyes snapped open and fixed on his. He sighed softly at this, knowing he had broken through the other’s stupor. He lowered his voice, knowing he needed to be careful with the frail pupil. “Mochizuki-kun, are you okay?”

Mochizuki shook his head as tears overflowed from his stormy eyes. A shiver ripped through his body as he tried to form his thoughts into words. “...I... I-it...”

Chibiki didn’t need the small boy to speak; he was smart enough to know that the fire in the movie had triggered this reaction. He hadn’t wanted to show the movie, but the curriculum was clear; it had to be shown as part of the course.

“I’m sorry...” Chibiki sighed, feeling the crushing weight of guilt weighing him down. “...I’m sorry, Mochizuki-kun...” 

Mochizuki’s eyes slipped closed, a small whimper escaping his lips. He shook his head, his body slumping forward to lean against his teacher’s. He let out a weary sigh, almost as if he were tired of being here. 

“Do you want to go home?” Chibiki offered, knowing he didn’t want to force the boy to remain here if it would impact negatively on his mental health. “I can ring your mother to come and get you.”

Mochizuki didn’t speak; he only nodded his head, too exhausted to speak. He remained sitting where he had been placed once Chibiki left his side in order to go to the office on his behalf. Chibiki returned a few minutes later, saying that Mochizuki’s mother was too busy on Tomoka would be on her way instead. 

As Mochizuki waited, Sakakabira and Misaki joined him, sitting with him until he fell fast asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

When Mochizuki awoke to someone shaking his shoulder, he opened blurry eyes, looking up at Chibiki. The man wore a soft look, almost as if he was about to break bad news to his student. Looking over at Sakakibara and Misaki, the other two students wore similar expressions, their eyes half-lidded as they looked down at the ground, their mouths twisted into a frown.

“What’s wrong...?” Mochizuki honestly didn’t want to hear the answer, his recently-developed anxiety playing tricks with his mind; what if someone he knew had gotten hurt? Or even... died...?

Chibiki sighed before he spoke, his voice as soft as he could manage. “...Your sister won’t be coming to get you.”

Mochizuki’s stomach churned at this information, and he couldn’t stop the tears welling up in his eyes. Something had happened to Tomoka... “...”

“She had a car accident.” Chibiki pushed his glasses up his nose before he spoke again. “She died before the ambulance could get there.”

Mochizuki looked down at his lap, the need to scream overwhelming him. He reached up and grabbed at his hair, clamping his mouth closed though a long, strangled whine still escaped its prison. Tears slipped down his pale cheeks and splashed against the material of his pants, his body beginning to convulse. 

Sakakibara reached forward and placed his hand on his friend’s shoulder, trying to calm him. He glanced helplessly at Misaki, seeing the way she just sat there and watched. 

“Mochizuki?” Sakakibara didn’t know what to do. He understood that Mochizuki probably thought the Calamity was back – in a way, he too felt like that. “Mochizuki, I’m sorry about your sister.”

“It’s my fault!”

Chibiki and Sakakibara recoiled at Mochizuki’s scream while Misaki seemed unfazed. The second Mochizuki started thrashing, ripping at his hair while screaming as if he were being tortured, Chibiki forced the boy into his arms, trying to stop the hysterical movements. 

“Mochizuki, please stop!” Chibiki tightened his hold on the boy, the writhing making it difficult. “You need to calm down! Stop!”

“It’s back!” Mochizuki’s voice was nothing but a strangled whimper now. His flailing body became harder to restrain as the terror took over him. “T-the Calamity! I-it’s back!”

Sakakibara’s hands shot out, grabbing the white shirt his friend was wearing. His hands clenched as he spoke, his wavering voice conveying his stress. “Mochizuki, you need to stop. There is no Calamity. It’s over. Please. Stop.”

Mochizuki didn’t relax in the slightest; he only became more frantic. By the time his rapid breathing turned into hyperventilation as a panic attack overwhelmed him, his teacher had picked him up off the ground and removed him from the hallway, nursing him in the privacy of an unused classroom. His hand stroked through reddish-brown hair as his eyes stayed fixed on his student, his lips curled in a concerned frown.

Mochizuki had since stopped moving, the only sign of him being conscious was the tears that slipped down his cheeks, his eyes blinking more than usual. 

“Mochizuki-kun...” Chibiki didn’t know what to say or do. Should he let Sakakibara and Misaki into the room? Would they be more comfort for him than he himself would be? Or should he leave him alone and allow him to come to terms with this himself? There were so many choices and all of them seemed impossible. 

“...N-nee-san...” Mochizuki’s body shuddered as another wave of tears cascaded down his cheeks. He whimpered before he curled up on the older man’s lap, burying his face into the black jacket the other was wearing. 

Chibiki didn’t stop the younger. He instead moved his hand to stroke the frail boy’s back, hoping that he could be of some sort of comfort. He hated that he was the one to tell this damaged child the bad news that had led him to believe the Calamity had returned. It hurt to know that, in a way, it was he who had caused this suffering. The only thing he could think to do was to stay with Mochizuki and try to comfort him however he could. 

“It’s going to be okay,” Chibiki whispered. “It will be.” 

Mochizuki didn’t reply; he instead curled up further, soft sobs the only thing that could be heard from him. 

Chibiki wanted to tell the boy that Teshigawara’s parents were on their way to come and get him, his mother too stricken with grief to leave the house. He wanted to say that Mochizuki’s mother loved him, but despite her daughter having just died, wouldn’t a truly loving mother still come to collect their surviving child? What was the right way to handle this? It didn’t seem like there  _ was  _ a right way. 

**_~~Teshigawara~~_ **

Teshigawara had been lying in his bed, staring blankly out of the window and watching the rain pelting down, the lightning striking in the sky. He shuddered at every thunderclap, the acknowledgement that he had nearly died during a storm eating at him.

“Naoya?”

Teshigawara didn’t even look at his father, unable to take his eyes off the rain. He stayed still, flinching slightly when footsteps approached him and a hand reached out to touch his arm. 

“Naoya, I’m afraid I have bad news.” 

Teshigawara’s heart started to race at this, horrified to hear this ‘bad news’. What if something had happened to Mochizuki? He had already lost Kazami and he couldn’t bear to lose Mochizuki, too. 

Pushing himself up onto his elbows, a single tear dripped down Teshigawara’s cheek. “...Did... something happen to... Mochizuki...?”

Satoshi Teshigawara looked down at his lap as he reached out to pat his son’s head. He was silent for a few seconds before he explained. “...Tomoka Inose passed away earlier today...”

Teshigawara’s eyes widened at these words. He shook his head, trying to understand what could have happened. Had the Calamity started again? Was Mochizuki okay? 

“M... Mochizuki...” Teshigawara’s voice was hoarse, but the panic was still clear in his voice. 

Satoshi understood his son’s stress and shook his head, trying to bring comfort to his younger child. “Mochizuki-kun wasn’t involved. He was at school. But his mother is heartbroken and unable to get him. Your mother and I are going to bring Mochizuki-kun home until Riku-san can take care of him.”

Teshigawara nodded and lay back down, turning to stare out of the window. It wasn’t that he didn’t care about his friend or his late sister, but he just couldn’t find the strength emotionally to get out of bed and go with his parents. He would wait for Mochizuki to arrive at his house and then at least  _ attempt  _ to get up. It was true that he had been afraid when his friend had punched the wall, but he knew that Mochizuki had been killing himself slowly trying to take care of him. He couldn’t be selfish and ignore him after all of this; he loved Mochizuki too much to abandon him.

“We’ll be back soon...” Satoshi whispered, ruffling light brown hair once more before he turned to leave. “Have a sleep if you need one, son.”

Teshigawara didn’t reply and instead followed raindrops on his window with his eyes, watching as they slid down the glass slowly, trying to distract himself from the pain he himself was feeling. He couldn’t bear to lose someone else the way he had lost Kazami. The memories of the dark-haired boy falling off the balcony were fresh in his mind, the guilt he felt towards the bespectacled male’s death nothing but a crushing weight.

Trying to clear his mind of what felt like one-thousand bricks, for the first time since the peak of the Calamity, he  _ screamed.  _ He grabbed his hair and ripped at it, screaming his pain out. His knees curled up to his chest as he wrapped his arms around them, crying hysterically. He didn’t know how much more of this he could handle – but Mochizuki, having lost his sister, should surely be worse off, right? 

For the first time in his life, Teshigawara hated himself. He hated everything about him. He was selfish to put himself before his friend when they  _ both  _ had suffered. But why was it so hard to get himself out of his bed and do something for Mochizuki? 

It was because he was nothing but selfish, right?


	6. Chapter 6

By the time Teshigawara’s bedroom door opened for the second time that day, he found Mochizuki being walked in by Mika Teshigawara. Mochizuki was clinging to the blue kimono the woman was wearing, his face red and swollen with tears.

Teshigawara forced himself to sit up again, his tired eyes looking over his friend. He frowned and swung his legs off the bed, trying to be the friend he knew he needed to be.

“Mochizuki...” Teshigawara frowned as his feet hit the ground, his legs unsteady, not used to holding his slim weight anymore. “Mochizuki, I... I am sorry...”

Mochizuki’s hand clenched in the blue fabric as fresh tears cascaded down his cheeks. He shook his head before he stepped closer to Mika, pressing against her. He wanted his mother, not understanding why she had chosen to leave him alone after his sister had just died. He knew that Riku would have been devastated by her oldest child passing away, but still... He wanted his mother to be here with him, needed her to tell him everything would be okay.

“T-teshigawara...” Mochizuki’s voice was strangled, his body shaking. He slowly released the kimono in his hands, taking a few hesitant steps towards his friend. “...Teshigawara...”

Teshigawara closed the distance between them and wrapped his friend in his arms. He let Mochizuki cry into him, knowing that he wasn’t the only one who needed someone there for him. 

“It’s alright,” Teshigawara whispered, resting his chin in Mochizuli’s reddish-brown hair. He sighed before he spoke again, the most interactive he had been in a long time. “It’s alright, Mochizuki.”

Mika wiped at her wet eyes, the pain caused by seeing her son like this unbearable. Teshigawara had been so distant, so shut off from the world – to see him suddenly talking and even  _ walking  _ broke her heart, the behaviour rarely heard of ever since he got out of the hospital.

Mochizuki cried into his friend’s chest, whimpering for his sister to come back. Teshigawara couldn’t blame him, remembering how much it hurt to know that Kazami had left him. He sat down on the ground, pulling Mochizuki onto his lap. He leant against the wall behind them, humming softly, hoping he could be some sort of help to his friend.

Mika had to leave the room, unable to see her son like this any longer; why had it taken such a horrible event to bring him out of his catatonic state? Why did her beautiful child have to be like this? He had been so happy, so carefree... 

Teshigawara didn’t let go of his friend once Mochizuki fallen asleep. Tears were still slipping past Mochizuki’s tightly closed eyelids as small murmurs and cries of pain left his lips. Teshigawara eventually fell asleep himself, the effort of having to move like this taking its toll on his weakened body.

**_~~Not long later~~_ **

When Teshigawara’s eyes opened, he looked down, trying to work out where Mochizuki had disappeared to. He looked towards the door to his bedroom, finding it ajar when it had been closed when he fell asleep.

Teshigawara stood up and staggered towards the door, the toll of hardly getting out of bed taking its toll on him. He stumbled down the hallway and, once he stepped into the living room, he collapsed onto the hardwood floor.

“Naoya!” 

Teshigawara flinched as someone rushed to his side. He pulled away from the hands that grabbed at him. He looked up with wary eyes, finding his father kneeling by his side, his mother standing by the sofa with a look of horror on her face.

“Naoya, are you okay?” Satoshi pulled his son into his arms, trying to help his son regain his footing. He bit his lip and held Teshigawara close, trying to comprehend what he could do for his child. “Naoya?”

Teshigawara wiped at his eyes, a small sob escaping his lips. He pulled away from his father, so ashamed of the fact that he could barely even walk. He didn’t want to be seen like this. He didn’t want to be seen at all. He wanted to be  _ happy  _ like he used to be. Why did he have to be dealt such a cruel hand in life?  _ Why?! _

“Naoya, perhaps you should go back to bed, honey...” Mika sounded as if she were about to cry. 

Teshigawara shook his head, pushing Satoshi away. “I am fine... Please...”

Mochizuki was sitting on the sofa, his small hand gripping Miku’s kimono. His eyes were wide and fearful, almost as if he didn’t understand what was happening. His lip quivered as tears welled up in his eyes, his sister’s name escaping his lips almost as if he were seeing her in place of his friend.

Teshigawara got back to his feet and stumbled over to his friend, reaching out to take his hand. He gasped and jumped back when his hand was slapped away. He didn’t know why there was a look of anger on Mochizuki’s face, but he was sure it was almost more devastating than anything else that had since happened.

“M-mochizuki...?” Teshigawara whispered in shock, unable to believe what his friend had just done. Why was life so hard for them both? Why did they have to be moulded into these fearful, angry boys?

“Leave me alone!” Mochizuki screamed before burying his face into Mika’s side. His body quivered as he cried, uttering small pleas to Teshigawara to leave him alone. 

Teshigawara himself was in shock; he had never seen his friend react like this before. He slumped his shoulders, fearful of the smaller boy’s temper; the memory of Mochizuki yelling at him seconds before he punched the wall was fresh in his mind. “...I...”

Mika’s arms wrapped around Mochizuki, torn between comforting these two boys. She wanted to comfort her son and tell him everything would be okay, but how could she ignore Mochizuki when his own  _ mother  _ didn’t want him anymore? 

The woman would find it hard to tell Mochizuki but, after phoning his mother to offer her condolences, Rika had voiced her dislike towards the idea of getting her heart broken again, wanting nothing to do with her son in order to avoid her own pain. Hearing the way Rika frantically screamed that she no longer had a son tore Mika’s heart apart.

“Naoya, baby, come here.” Mika opened her arm wide, inviting her child onto her lap. She held him close, two young boys either side of her. “It’s alright, Naoya. It’s alright.”

Teshigawara didn’t cry, but he came close to it. He leant his head against his mother’s shoulder, watching Satoshi warily as the black-haired man approached them carefully.

“Mika, would you like for me to do anything here?” Satoshi’s voice was quiet as he spoke, his eyes scanning the teenagers. He wanted to be able to do something for them, but it was harder than it seemed when every attempt he made at making his child just  _ look  _ at him ended in failure.

“It’s okay.” Mika offered a sad smile towards her husband. “I have them. I’ll talk to them later about...  _ that.” _

Satoshi nodded. “Alright. I’ll prepare a late lunch.”

Teshigawara’s eyes followed his father out of the living room, watching him disappear into the kitchen. He pressed closer against his mother, the absolute emotional exhaustion overwhelming him. He sighed as his eyelids drooped, feeling sleep taking over him again.

“Don’t fall asleep, sweetie.” Mika shook her child gently, trying to get him to wake once again. “Lunch will be ready soon. Will you eat with us today?”

Teshigawara didn’t respond, staring blankly at the wall opposite them as his thoughts started to torment him once again. Mika could only sigh, having gotten her hopes up. 

Mochizuki’s eyes were closed, feeling his body shaking from the anger he felt. He couldn’t understand why, but when Teshigawara had approached him in an attempt to help, he just...  _ snapped.  _ Why? Why had he done that? Why had the thought of comfort from the brunet hurt him enough to make him mad?

With a sigh, Mochizuki pulled away from his friend’s mother and instead curled up on the end of the couch, his tired eyes closing as he fell asleep once more.


	7. Chapter 7

Lunch had not gone well at all, resulting in Teshigawara going back to see his counsellor, having accidentally cut his finger on his knife and falling into a panic attack at the mere sight of the red liquid. Mochizuki had remained at the house with Kagome and Satoshi, sitting quietly in the living room.

Teshigawara sat in the high-back chair, his hands clasped neatly in his lap as he surveyed his feet in interest. He was quiet as he relived events of the Calamity in his mind, the blood having set off his post-traumatic stress disorder. 

“Here.” Momotani leant forward, handing a lollipop to the boy. She smiled softly, hoping to bring Teshigawara out of his thoughts. She wasn’t surprised when the sweet remained in her hand, no effort having been made to take it. She pulled her hand back to her body and changed the subject, hoping to get a response from the usually silent boy. “Teshigawara-kun, what happened?”

Teshigawara’s body trembled, silent for several minutes, leading Momotani to believe he wasn’t going to speak. However, just as she opened her mouth to say something else, a wavering, frightened voice murmured to her, full of despair. 

“How do I help him...?” Tears slipped down Teshigawara’s pale cheeks, small whimpers filling the air. 

Momotani frowned and moved to sit closer to the teen. When she spoke, her voice was full of compassion. “Did something happen?”

Teshigawara was silent again for a few seconds, almost as if he were rolling his words over in his mind, before he spoke again. “...Mochizuki... His sister had a car accident and passed away... I... I-I want to help him... He’s always helped me...”

“Have you talked to him?” Momotani understood that this was a breakthrough; the trauma Teshigawara had gone through had damaged him severely, but the fact that he was still able to recognise his love for his friends was amazing and she honestly had not expected such a thing so soon after going through what he had.

Teshigawara shook his head. “...He’s... pushing me away. It’s like he’s... angry or something at me... I don’t understand...”

“He’s just grieving,” Momotani explained. “He must have been very close to his sister and after everything that’s happened, it will be very hard for him. I’m sure it’s nothing you’ve done; after all, you yourself are grieving. You and Mochizuki-kun just have different ways of showing it.”

“...I...” Teshigawara’s shoulders heaved as he choked on a sob. He shook his head, a small whimper escaping his lips. “...He... He was angry at me before she died... He... He yelled at me... Told me he had had enough... And he punched the wall... I was scared... So scared... He’s so kind... I’ve never seen him like that...”

“Don’t forget that Mochizuki-kun himself suffers from his own wounds.” Momotani smiled softly, attempting to give the lollipop back to the boy. She felt a weight lift from her shoulders as the sweet was taken warily, almost as if the brown-haired boy was afraid of it. “He may not have been receiving the love and support  _ he  _ needed and, trying to keep you together, just needed to get his emotions out into the open. I’m sure it’s  _ nothing _ you did, Teshigawara-kun; rather, what he  _ couldn’t  _ do – look after  _ himself.” _

“...What if he won’t let me take care of him?” Teshigawara whispered. Tears dripped down his cheeks as he tried to organise his many thoughts. “...What if... he won’t let me...? I... I can’t lose anyone else... Not like Kazami...”

“You need to talk to him,” Momotani explained. “It will be hard to do, but you both are very close. Even if you only talk to come to a compromise. Just let him know you appreciate what he’s done for you, that you recognize it must have been difficult, and that now it’s  _ his  _ turn to be supported.” 

“...” Teshigawara nodded. Mochizuki  _ was  _ an understanding person, always there for his loved ones, wanting to help in whatever way he could. Surely he would be willing to listen, right...? “...T-thank you, Momotani-san... I’ll talk to him...”

Momotani nodded, writing a note in her book. “Thank you, Teshigawara-kun. Is there anything else you’d like to talk about?”

Teshigawara shook his head. “No. I’m... I’m okay... Can I leave, please?”

As much as Momotani wanted him to stay and continue talking, she knew not to force the damaged teen. She mustered her brightest smile, trying to reassure him, before she nodded. “Of course. Is your mother coming to get you?”

“Yes...” With that said, Teshigawara got to his feet and trudged to the door, uttering a soft goodbye before he left. He felt rude – truly – but he was afraid if he stayed in there any longer, he’d have an emotional breakdown; he wanted to be strong and keep his emotions to himself, even if that meant having to keep his tears inside.

As he waited for his mother, his thoughts wandered over to Mochizuki. His friend had been clinging to his mom, having been informed that his own parent no longer wanted him. He didn’t mind Mochizuki being a part of his family – it was already like he was – but he felt uneasy about sharing his mother. But... Mochizuki deserved the love Kagome would give him, so perhaps it was something he’d have to get used to.

With a sigh, Teshigawara mumbled his friend’s name, wishing he could go back in time and stop the Calamity from ever happening.

**_~~One hour later~~_ **

When Teshigawara arrived back home, he was surprised to find Mochizuki asleep in his bed. He didn’t wake him, wanting to let him rest in hopes of the other being more sociable when he woke up. 

Instead, Teshigawara moved to his closet and pulled a small box out of the corner. He sat down and opened the lid, pulling out several photographs. He looked at the first one, a very old photo from his childhood. He and Kazami were sitting side-by-side with bright smiles on their faces. It had been taken during Teshigawara’s seventh birthday, the two almost like brothers. 

Feeling the tears spring to his eyes, Teshigawara carefully placed the photo back into its box, not wanting to damage one of the only reminders he had left of his friend. The next one wasn’t as old, taken about three or so years ago, four boys gathered together. 

Teshigawara was sitting at the end of a bench, his trademark wide grin emphasising the hand he held in the air while the other arm was wrapped around Kazami’s shoulders, pulling the bespectacled boy against him. Next to them was both Mochizuki and Takabayashi, the deceased boy sitting on the other end of the bench, a gentle expression on his face. Mochizuki was looking down at his lap, a shy smile on his face. 

Teshigawara remembered that photo; it had been taken just a week after meeting Mochizuki. The boy had been very shy back then, very uneasy about his surroundings. It had taken Teshigawara days of prying to try and get him to come over to his house, and Mochizuki had only agreed if he could bring a friend.

Teshigawara couldn’t help but smile fondly at the memories. Mochizuki was and always had been – even more so now – an anxious person, but back then he was always looking down at the ground, too nervous to so much as look at whom he was speaking with, much less willingly get his photo taken.

The next photo was another one of Teshigawara and Kazami at another birthday. The two were eating cake, unaware of the camera pointing at them. While cake was all over Teshigawara’s face, Kazami was much more dignified to use cutlery as he ate.

The second last photo was of him and Mochizuki along with Tomoka, a kitten in Mochizuki’s arms. They had found it on the streets and taken it in for a short while before they had re-homed it, a stinging reminder of how they all had once been.

And the last photo was the one they had taken at Yomiyama Shrine. Teshigawara’s eyes scanned the students in the photo, unable to hold back the tears any longer. His gaze fixed on Kazami for a while before it moved over to Mochizuki, the bright smile on the boy’s face killing him inside; he would probably never see that smile again.

The brown-haired boy shoved the photos back into the box, putting it back into the corner of the closet, before he left the room in a hurry, running to find his mother. Tears streamed down his cheeks, unable to ignore the screams for help in his head any longer. He needed someone he loved –  _ now. _

Kagome was in the kitchen, and she was alarmed when her son’s arms wrapped around her, accompanied by loud sobs. She turned around, placing the knife she had been holding on the counter before she embraced her child.

“Naoya, what happened?” Kagome’s hand smoothed light brown hair as the other rubbed her son’s back. “Please, talk to me, sweetie. What happened?”

“...It’s...” Teshigawara could barely get his words out; his voice was choked by sobs. “...It’s... I... M-mochi... We... We’ll never be... happy again... Will we...?”

Kagome held her son tighter to her, shaking her head. “That is not true. I know you’ll both be okay. It will just take some time. It’s alright. Shh...”

Teshigawara cried harder. “I... miss... Kazami...!”

“Oh, honey...” The woman kissed the small forehead before her, wishing she could be of more help. “My love, it’s okay. I know you miss Kazami-kun, but I’m sure he’ll be happy wherever he is.”

“...M... Mochizuki... Mochizuki must... hate me...”

“No, he doesn’t,” Kagome promised. “He’s in pain, just like you are.”

“...I’m sorry...”

“For what? You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Yes, I did... I... I was... so... I was so bad... I... I wouldn’t... talk... I... must have... scared you...”

“Shh... Naoya... Naoya, it’s okay. What’s important is that you’re talking to us again. That’s all that matters. Please. It’s okay. Naoya... Naoya, it’s okay...”

Teshigawara couldn’t cry harder than he was right now. His mother’s words did nothing to help him, and all he could do was cry himself to sleep in Kagome’s hold. 

“Naoya...” Kagome whispered, sitting with the sleeping boy. “...Naoya... I’m sorry... I don’t know how to help you... Please... Please, be okay... Naoya...” 


	8. Chapter 8

Mochizuki was beginning to understand how his friend must have been feeling for all this time as he himself was beginning to withdraw from everyone, the pain of losing his family overwhelming. After having believed that the Calamity had finally ended it came as a huge shock to realise that it may not have, that he could be next, that  _ Teshigawara  _ and his family may be next.

Mochizuki was curled up in Teshigawara’s bed, his eyes staring blankly ahead of him. He blinked every now and then, trying to return to reality, but it was easier said than done.

“Mochizuki-kun?” 

Mochizuki was still for a few seconds before he shifted, rolling over to glance at Kagome. His lips were curled downwards, the acknowledgement that he had to replace his mother with someone else’s hurting like a physical wound.

“Mochizuki-kun, Naoya has made lunch for you,” the woman explained as she stepped into the room to sit beside her child’s best friend. “He wants to apologise for everything he could possibly have done to cause you hurt.”

Mochizuki sighed before he replied in a lifeless voice. “...I can’t... I can’t help this... My... My sister is dead, and... My own mother doesn’t want me now... Can’t he... get it...? It’s too much...”

Kagome reached out, wrapping her arms around Mochizuki. She placed a gentle kiss on his forehead, trying to decide what she should say. “...I understand that it must hurt for you for this to have happened, but... you’ve helped Naoya understand that... he’s been hurting everyone he loves, too... He doesn’t want you to go the way he had, and... if you would let him, he’d... help you as much as he can...”

Tears welled up in Mochizuki’s eyes, unable to reply to these words. It was true that he had been trying to help Teshigawara, but did he really deserve the help he was given? He was being a terrible friend, pushing everyone away and caring only for himself. Even when Takabayashi had died, he had tried to keep it all together, his sanity slipping slowly every day. But now... He felt too far gone.

“...Please...” Mochizuki’s voice was dripping with agony, tears sliding down his pale cheeks. He carefully pulled away from the woman’s kindness, wanting to be alone. “...Please, just... leave me alone... I... I want to be alone...”

Kagome was silent for a few seconds before she nodded, knowing that she could do nothing for the boy. Pulling her hands away from him, she stood up, leaving the room after uttering a soft apology – an apology she had no idea on what it was for.

**_~~Teshigawara~~_ **

Teshigawara had lost track of how long he had been in the kitchen for, trying to prepare the best lunch he could for his friend. He didn’t have Kazami anymore and the thought that he could potentially lose Mochizuki as well broke his heart.

He glanced towards the entrance of the kitchen as footsteps approached him, hoping with all his being that his friend had decided to come out and accept his offer. He was disheartened to find his mother walking in, her heels clacking against the floor tiles.

“Kaa-san?” Teshigawara frowned at the look on Kagome’s face, knowing in his heart that it was because Mochizuki had pushed her away. “Kaa-san, how is... How is he?”

Kagome shook her head, her eyes half lidded; all she wanted was to be able to help the poor boy, give him the love he deserved, but instead he was probably deeming himself unworthy of what her family was trying to give to him.

“I think he...” Kagome wiped at her blue eyes, “...is in a lot of pain...”

“...I know...” Teshigawara looked down at his feet, just wishing he could do more; after all the patience the boy had given  _ him...  _ He turned his attention back to the dango he was preparing, unwilling to give up so soon. “...I’ll... just bring him the food...”

Kagome offered a weak smile. “Good idea, Naoya. I’m sure he’ll appreciate it.”

“I’m almost finished now.” Teshigawara left the dango, attending instead to the ohagi he had next to him. “I’ll leave some for you.”

“Thank you, Naoya.” Kagome’s arms extended and wrapped her son into a tight hug. “I’m glad he has you.”

Teshigawara returned the hug before he went back to cooking. His mother left and, just fifteen minutes later, he found himself carrying a platter of different snacks up to his bedroom. 

Knocking on the hardwood door, Teshigawara waited for a reply before he entered his own room. When one wasn’t given to him, he became worried; what if Mochizuki’s depression was overwhelming him faster than ever?

“Mochizuki?” Teshigawara opened the door slowly, backing into the room so as to not disturb the foods he was carrying. He kicked the door closed behind him before he turned back to his friend. “Mochizuki? Are you – Mochizuki!”

Teshigawara’s eyes filled with tears as he dropped the dish he was carrying. Food and drink splattered all over the room, but he paid no heed to this, instead rushing forward towards his friend. There were no coherent thoughts running through his mind; everything was jumbled, feeling as if he were about to lose his best friend – just like he had lost Kazami.

“Mochizuki,  _ no!” _

Grey eyes met brown ones as a razorblade was pulled from Mochizuki’s hand, droplets of blood dripping down onto the white bed sheets, staining the thin material. Mochizuki’s eyes filled with tears as the clang of metal being thrown away resounded heavily against the quiet environment. He was pulled against his best friend’s chest, soft pleads being whispered over and over. Tears dripped down onto his purple shirt, leaving a wet puddle against his collarbone.

“Don’t you...” Teshigawara pulled away, staring into grey eyes as tears overflowed from his own. He choked on a sob before he continued speaking, sounding as if he were struggling just to make a sound. “...Don’t you think... We all suffered...? I know... I know that I made my mistakes... but I never once thought of doing this to myself... You can’t leave me alone... Please... You’re... my best friend... I’ve already lost Kazami... I... I-I can’t lose you, too...”

“...It hurts...” Mochizuki whispered, the pain in his wrists throbbing as blood splashed against his skin. However, he didn’t know whether he was talking about the physical or the mental pain. “...It hurts so much... I...”

“ _ I’m  _ still here, aren’t I?” Teshigawara whispered. “I’m still here, and so are Sakaki and Misaki... Please... Even if... even if your family is gone... You... You still have us... I need you... I can’t lose you, too... I can’t imagine what you’re feeling, having lost your family, but... if it’s like losing Kazami, I... I’m here for you... And I need you to be there for me, too... I can’t... do this alone...”

Mochizuki’s eyes flooded with tears as his hands came to grip at the yellow jacket his friend was wearing. He buried his face against the older male’s chest, sobbing quietly. Was he truly being selfish? Stupid, even? But... Teshigawara was still here with him... He still wanted him... Maybe his mother didn’t, but... his friend did. 

“...Teshigawara...” Mochizuki coughed softly, “...Teshigawara... I’m sorry...”

“It’s okay,” the brunet whispered, running his hand through reddish-brown hair. “It’s okay... I’m sorry, too... Let’s forget it, and... be there for each other now. Does that sound fair? We’ll get through it together.”

Mochizuki nodded slowly, his grey eyes half lidded as tears streamed from them in a now-steady flow. “...Okay...”

Teshigawara smiled gently as he rested his chin on the younger’s head, his hands making soothing strokes against the other’s back.

“Teshigawara?”

“Yes.”

“...You’re my best friend.”

“I know. You’re my best friend, too.” 


End file.
